This morning on my way out the door I got very sad leaving my babies behind. I've always gone back and forth about wanting to be a stay at home mom. I am very indecisive! I want to be there for my kids and watch them grow and I don't want to miss anything. But at the same time I want to contribute to the house financially as well. It's also nice to get out of the house now and then and socialize with adults. I just wish I didn't have to work very much....Maybe two days a week would be ideal but I know that for me that is just not logical.
When Garrett was a baby he was very typical and routine. He napped regularly, ate every 3 hours, bath at 7, bed at 8. If he was fussy a pacifier satisfied him and if he had a hard time falling asleep, swaddling him real tight would do the trick. He was easily entertained and very independent. So when it came time for me to go back to work, I was bummed about leaving him behind, but I was also confident that he would be just fine.
Shane is very different. He refuses to follow any sort of routine and no trick works twice when it comes to calming him down while he's fussy. I just want to be with him all the time until this passes or until I can figure him out better. I don't feel ready to go back to work just yet. I want to stay here and make sure that he is okay and he is happy. I love being the one to help soothe his upset tummy, make him smile, and cuddle him to sleep. I want that to be my job.
But in just a few weeks I will be back to working my two jobs and I get very stressed just thinking about it. I hope that I will adjust to being back to work smoothly and that Shane will not feel abandoned.... :(
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what a hard thing to go through! I know Shane will not feel abandoned! A lot of kids go through this and he wont even remember it! And at least he will be with family! Dont feel guilty!!! Just enjoy your time you have at home now. You will still watch them grow up just as fast!
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